Lust isn't synonymous with sex, it means that you are seeking out to satisfy your interests and desires, with the other's interests being secondary. When we read the word love in Scripture, there are four words which can be used for our one word love. Rather than what should be the proper method of moving from "philia" or the love of friendship into "agape" which is the love we often fall short of, but should be our strongest desire to reach; that love which is unconditional, completely giving and not based on circumstances. Our whole current construct on finding a future mate, though it does work at times, is not the Biblical or Christian method. Again, what is reflected in reality, on television, in movies all centers around lust which by definition is self-satisfying and not giving.

We first meet Samson in Judges 14:1-3, "Now Samson went down to Timnah, and saw a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. So he went up and told his father and mother, saying, "I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife." Then his father and mother said to him, "Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?" And Samson said to his father, "Get her for me, for she pleases me well." This interchange should offend all of us. Yet in reality it simply looks so much worse on someone else than it does on ourselves. I imagine the scene that exists now, may not use these words that Samson chose to use, but they amount to the same thing. Essentially I see, I like, I want, get it for me, or I will try to get it myself. This situation turns out poorly for Samson, and after exacting some revenge, he settles down in 15:20, "And he judged Israel twenty years in the days of the Philistines." Only to see that this area of lust had not really left Samson as we read in 16:1, "Now Samson went to Gaza and saw a harlot there, and went in to her."

There is certainly nothing wrong with being physically attracted to the man or woman who choose to enter into a relationship with. In certain cultures in which there are arranged marriages, the process is very objective in making sure that all of the necessary qualities exist for their child: a person of faith, a good family, etc. Though our fractured and lustful scene occasionally works out right, it completely runs opposite of how it should. Driven by lust, rather than love, it seeks the opposite of what it should. Love is all about pleasing others rather than yourself. Lust is all about pleasing ourselves.

This is one of the reasons why being part of a church community is so important. Friendship and fellowship and a mutual love for God can and should be the cornerstone of any Christian relationship. Once these relationships have been established this way, then moving forward can naturally evolve. As with every other aspect of society, the world has it wrong, God has it right.